May 17th - I've been thinking about how much my life will change in the next four months. I'm over the half way point in this quarter classes, and they are my last ones to take here at WWU, before I student teach. Next fall, I'll be in a completely different culture, atmosphere, climate, and life for three entire months. What will I do when I'm having a challenging day teaching in a school on Italy? While I'm here in Bellingham, I've got such an amazing support network. I realized that even more so when I hosted my fundraiser last Saturday. There are so many special people in my life who want to help me reach my goal. Each one, a beautiful person who I love. How will I get through all of this completely on my own? Honestly, it's a bit frightening... like the first time I rode a roller coaster. My heart would beat rapidly, perspiration on my brow and flushed face, while I laughed hysterically as the cart began to go up the ramp. Held onto Jeffrey's hand with a tight grip. He has been there for me throughout so many challenging moments on my life these last four years. My silly and strong rock that I can count on. So now I realize that I'm going to have to count on myself a whole hell-of-a-lot more. This is going to be another amazing adventure on my life, and while it is scary, it will be a great ride! May 22nd - I may not get to go abroad after all this hard work. The offices could not find me any available spots to place me for student teaching in either Italy or Spain. Now, they have offered me one placement in Surrey, about 30 minutes south of London. But… that would cost me an additional $1200 before my financial aid would kick in for fall term. And now I wait to any possible chance that my Woodring adviser could find for me to have any extra help with scholarships, grants, or school loans. I feel awful… because I’ve worked so hard and so many people have believed in me. None of the $800 program fees are refundable, which I knew when I began this option. While I have talked about this with my dear J yesterday, it was before I had my meeting with the adviser. Now I have less and less hope that it will happen. All of this, and I am sitting here in tears feeling awful that I am letting people down. I took a big risk, in asking for help, starting the fundraiser, and reaching for this goal. Sometimes, the goal is reachable. This one may not be the right one for me at this time. Maybe later on in life I can make it happen to go to Italy & Greece on a vacation with my honey. I just have to get through these hoops to get myself into a student teaching position next fall and if that is going to be here in the states, then it had better be close to home of Bham. I do love it here & wouldn’t want to live anywhere else. So maybe this is the best place for me to learn how to better teach. Time to reevaluate, change gears, and move forward in another route. Either way, I will finish my degree at WWU and get to be an art teacher. May 23rd - I am dumb-founded, flabbergasted, and so blissfully relieved! After thinking that there was no possible way I could afford to go abroad to this other location, I find to my surprise that the love of my life is going to help me go. While I knew my mom was able to gift me some funds, I knew it wasn't enough for the extra expenses and fees of the visa. Now, I can say that my man has saved me. There are not enough words to express the amount of gratitude that I have for such a beautiful person. I never expected any of this to happen. The love, adoration, respect, and yes much corniness we share. I'm waiting to hear back details from the study abroad program with the teacher I will be working with. This is so exciting! Now, I need to try really hard to concentrate on keeping up with my studies. May 28th - Now, to bring all of this together, I am going to be updating a blog while I'm studying abroad for those three months this fall, but I think I will want to practice using it this summer while I prepare for the big trip. While there are a lot of things to get done before I head over seas, I also want to enjoy my life here each and every way I possibly can. Also, there will be photos taken and posted. *Woot!* ~Laughter & Light~ ~R~